The Way It is
Like the tides Life ebbs and flows...
Ok I have been really out of it lately in all aspects thanks in part to home life being rather hectic and well pained. Now I am not one to really air my laundry or life but I figure what the hell I have a blog so why the fuck not?
Wednesday of last week my very unstable relationship took a turn for the uh well I suppose the better, I am experiencing life as I should with no stress, and believe me there is no stress...
Strain...
Anger...
or
Sorrow...
I am taking a few weeks, months, years to myself trying to get everything sorted out, figuring out just what I want in
Life...
Love...
and
Self!!!
So far all I know is I want to be alone, find myself again and enjoy just being me... and I am... Times are interesting, will things work out to the best advantage??? I dont really know right now...
* I do know I dont want the bullshit that has occurred in the past...
* I do know I dont want to lose the person who was my best friend for 16 plus years...
* I do know that I am willing to release if they arent willing to meet me in the middle...
* I do know I dont want to continue living in misery...
* I do know I dont want to make them miserable...
* I do know that I love the person I knew once upon a time...
* I do know that I want to be published someday...
* I do know that i want to be happy...
* I do know that I dont want to be involved in a relationship with anyone until I know myself again...
* I do know I want a family...
* I do know I want love and respect...
and last but not least
* I do know that in the next two to three years luck willing I will be taking a month off and travelling (OMG) to Scotland and maybe Ireland where I plan on resting and cogitating, hey maybe I will find a gorgeous, loving scottish lord who will be intrigued by my American status and I will get to do nothing but sit at home writing for the rest of my days, while he does the dishes and cleaning LOL! Just Kidding... I am not ready for a relationship...
So I do know a bit and hopefully as some of the doubts subside and everything begins to ease I will be getting slowly but surely back into myself and sims writing...
Hey I am even working as we speak on an update for DE 80)
Cheers!
Cherie, you know how I feel. You have been through a meat grinder. Now, it is time for you. Take your time. Relax, no stress. Enjoy.
And glad to hear you are working on an DE update. Writing and Sims Stories can do wonders for one's inner self.
Indulge.
Cheers and hugs~
Hey Cherie. Just ease yourself into the new you. Take care, don't push it and let it flow the way it's going to. :)
Remember writing anything, even shit is good. :)
Ooo more DE, glad to hear it.
*hugs* It will all work out the way it's supposed to be, whatever that is.
Drew and Lachesis,
Thank you both so much, and thanks for listening... I am taking it slowly stopped by his place tonight and gave him a letter that spoke of what I've managed to uncover so far. We'll see if he even reads it.
I am going to do my own thing for the time being and I left the ball in his court, he says he wont wait so I told him make a choice.
LOL! I have three out of 15 or twenty screens I am going to try and get a few more. LOL! but hopefully by the end of this month I'll have it ready 80)
Thank you and hugs back!
I'm sorry to hear about your relationship, it must be hard to have to be making these decisions and I hope everything works out to where you are happy and can be okay with however it works out.
Scotland and Ireland sounds like a great way to do some soul searching! Hey, who says you can't drool over some hot hunks while you're there! LOL.
I really do wish you the best and you deserve everything you said you want and more. :)
Gah, sorry I was logged in to another account, just so you know I'm not some creeper! LOL.
Aww Emily it's perfectly fine I knew it was you. 80)
Actually I am really ok with all of this, I feel 1000 times relieved, and if things cant be the way I want then I have little other to do than accept. 80) Thank you 80) I appreciate the kind words 80)
and yes no reason why I cant drool LOL! It has been a niggling sense in the back of my mind for a really long time, I want to experience another culture and see the world.
Thank you again for the uplifting and supportive words 80)
Everything happens for a reason, and I know that your future will be a thousand times better... just hang in there, be strong and do NOT stop smiling!
The night is darkest just before dawn! so soon enough the sun will be shining again!
Take care and best wishes for you and everyone around you!
To love someone, we need to love ourselves first!
hugs!
Thinking of you and hoping you find the peace you need. Life can throw some awful things at us. You are definitely strong enough to get through it.
*hugs*
Thank you S@ndy,
Yes the night is always darker before dawn but in this case the dawn seems 1000 times brighter than usual. It's bad to say but I have been putting up with this for so long that I almost feel guilty for the way I am feeling now. Still listening to family and friends that have experienced the same things they are all telling me to give it a couple months see if things change a bit, but they are all proud of me. 80)
I totally agree, I love myself but I have always given everyone else my all and not focused on myself. 80) and I am still SMILING! more along the lines of Laughing 80)
Thank you and Hugs...
Gayl,
Thank you so much I am strong, stubborn and determined enough to make this work to my advantage. And I will do everything and anything to maintain this peace that I have found. I may be faced with some hard times but I can face them with the knowledge that i am doing the right thing.
Thank you again and Hugs in return 80)